March 18, 2012

Happy Changes

Have you ever had the feeling that it was time to get your life back on track? Or maybe, if you’re really honest, that this is the first time you’ve really felt on track at all? This is where I am. I have been through some pretty big things over the past year – a year not best summed up by that famous phrase, “It was the best of times, it wast the worst of times.” No, this time there was no “best”. There was a little beauty along the way, but no “best”.

Three days and a few odd hours from now, time will have arrived at the first-year anniversary of my daddy’s passing from this life into the next. I remember, as a little girl, sitting in a pew on countless Sunday mornings, watching and listening to my daddy preach. What stands out the most is hearing him say to all of us, “Life is but a pfff.” It only takes a split second to make that sound, and in view of all time before us and all that is to come, our lives here are truly brief. That doesn’t mean that we are insignificant. Whether we know it or not, we are greatly loved, and we were made to love. Our choices and our experiences have great value, and we are responsible for making the most of our time here.

My daddy understood that. He got how brief our lives really are. I thought I did too, but then, shortly after my thirtieth birthday, as I sat with my dad in a small room, I 

listened to
 watched his doctor telling us he had cancer, which had already spread throughout his entire body. It was like I was having an out-of-body experience. We had been hoping for something smaller, something treatable, but in an instant, I knew my daddy would be gone soon, and my world changed.

Eight months later, his journey ended. Some really cool things happened along the way, and before my dad passed, he was blessed to see his life’s work literally sent out into nations around the world, where his teaching will continue to be a blessing to others.

Fast forward a year, and I am beginning a new chapter in my own journey. I feel like I’m waking up after a long slumber. Like, really waking up. The fog is clearing, and I feel like I can truly experience all that is going on around me. It’s as if I’m a little girl experiencing the wonders of the world for the first time. Part of it is my grief waning, and part of it is finally having help with a disorder that had mentally and emotionally hindered me for a very long time. More on that later.

With the fog lifting and a renewed perspective on how I spend my life, I feel compelled to make some healthy new choices, and I am excited to share my journey. I’ll be writing about family life, homeschooling, eating well, and probably a few other things along the way. Here’s to loving life and living well {together}!

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